DEVIN

“Worst to first, despite the fact that it eventually ended up being a three-player game between Marty, Sheldon and I. Shane was the unlucky recipient of my early barrage of sixes, which set all the wheels in motion this game. I'm happy to report that Madagascar played an integral role in my strategy. Not a fan of the potential for extra defence rolls with Marty's wacky rules. I must commend him on the quality Jaws shot glass, however. How could I do anything but win on a night where I rolled three fours thrice? It was simply meant to be.”

“I tried - but to no avail.... At least - the host curse has not taken hold. Next month...Next year...Hey - we'll get there (the Royal 'we').”

“No quote is my quote and you can quote me on that.... You know what went down. It may not have cost me the game but.......”

“Devin made a bold move, nibbling not so tenderly on the nape of Shane's neck. He left Shane in a vulnerable state, leaving him easy prey for me to swoop in and take his 3 cards. This should have been a good thing, giving up my ever growing strength in North America...Sheldon, as usual, pounced on the opportunity to relieve me of my cards, but I was able to hold him off and make it to my next turn, turning in a meagre set of soldiers. I probably should have fortified and held tight, but decided to try to push Sheldon out of North America. That was where I ran into a shitstorm, losing 9 straight at one point (between Sheldon and Marty)...no sooner had I picked up my card, then Marty turned in a set of cards, pointed his snot green armies at me and kicked my sorry ass out of the game...and, since I'm driving, I can't even pad my drink stats.... 1 beer...5th place...an empty feeling in my soul...Risk...why must you taunt me so? Marty...why must you puke in your glass? Better than my shoes, I suppose.... Oh...and then there was the time Sheldon rolled a six...in a box...on defence against Marty...and Marty was having none of it.... It was a standstill...it went on for...uhm...well the standstill is still going on...we might be here for a while...well not that long for me, maybe...as I'm going home right after I eat Marty's food.... Oh...and then there was the game when my attack stats were below 50%...oh...wait...that was this game... (A little while later) Well...I ate his food, and I'm still here...there was much heated debate over the box rolling incident...some good food was eaten...but it remains that Marty and Sheldon are battling it out for second place...I'll stick around a little bit longer to see if things turn around...Ethan isn't here to put his shoes on, after all....”

“My vagina hurts.”