NATHAN

“The T-Rex thinks I'm a cunt.”

“Too much blood on my hands. It put a huge target on my back. Will somebody attack someone for fuck's sake!”

“Thanks to my friends Bruichladdich, Lagavulin, Springbank, Ardbeg and Highland Park, I managed to shuffle the four cards I held back into the deck, putting myself four turns behind everyone else with respect to cards. 'Friends like these, huh, Gary?'”

“What have we become? This is some serious repugnant fucked up shit... Do you see what happens, Larry? Do you see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps. Here come the pain!”

“Sixth place. Fuck you all. It was nice to see so much new blood at the table. And the new venue was nice. Shane s scotch selection was incredible& I felt bad to see that man out so soon. Then to be taken out by the same asshole was a kick in the crotch. But it was Sheldon, so really, it was no surprise. And it was my fucking birthday yesterday. I m feeling a hangover, dealing with being sixth in a seven player game, but trying to put on a good show, and drink through it. I m on drink number six. Eight more to go for the record. I m doubting I can do it. I didn t bring enough beer. I even gave some away to that motherfucker Sheldon& motherfucker& shit month all in all for me& sixth in a seven player game& broke up with my girlfriend because she cheated on me& How about them Canucks? Have I won the longest quote award yet? There is no award for longest quote!! Maybe there should be? Annual Risk awards? Might be something to strive for& I m never going to catch those assholes that have played twelve more games than me& but I could aim for an annual title. Actually, maybe I can add a section to the website& actually maybe I ll look to see if I ve won any annual titles before doing that& I need to go take a piss, and then grab another drink& mmm& nice dark lager& Vancouver Island Brewing Herman s Dark Lager& Risk& right& It s tough in a seven player game& the cards left me in Europe& and Sheldon gained confidence by eliminating Shane& Maybe I shouldn t have taken Africa away from Shane& but nobody was doing anything about anything& so I did& thought it would get the ball rolling, and people would start doing shit. But they didn t& aside from Sheldon& who took over Shane& and then me& and then Marty& although he thought it was a suicide mission& but it worked for him& Risk& I guess that s what it s all about& so, perhaps this is a lesson learned& stay away from Sheldon (who will find and attack me anyway) and be aggressive& And I brought a new fucking board! With new fucking pieces?! No respect& I m the fucking Rodney Dangerfield of Risk& & & & & And now we are talking about how bitches be crazy & well some of us anyway& anyway& I think Sheldon has just ordered pizza& I d love some pizza about now& well& I think this quote is winding down& I ve run out of shit to say& and I should concentrate on drinking& had a bit of therapy& looking forward to drinking with these gentlemen again soon& no& wait& I hate all of these fuckers& Fucking game&”

“Suck it!! Get the fuck out of my house!”