DEVIN

“A well-deserved win. After repelling the classic (and erstwhile dormant) Warkentin kamikaze attack in Europe early on and surviving a massive onslaught of card-born armies springing forth from Ron's killer cards, I feel nothing but pride in this victory. My old bushwhacking injuries steeled me for the deep jungle battles. My thanks to my trainees Vedder and Barrow for pushing me to achieve the condition I needed to be in to survive this war of attrition. Another game with little in the way of intoxicants. If anything, this is what drives me to try and join the ranks of homeowners. I think I'm past due to host a game...”

“Pre-drinking might not be the way forward. Perhaps I should stop hosting as I never seem to do well on home soil...maybe that just shows the lack of respect I get...after rolling 3 offensive sixes in Ukraine, I thought I might get some...but no...none was to be seen...so I did it 2 more times!!! Still nothing...I figured I'd try to turn in 3 sets of cannons...still I get no respect...meh...finally I got a decent drink total...like I said...meh...”

“Clarity...”

“Hindsight breeds foresight; next time I battle prepared.”

“War is not about what is right but what is left. And what is left are three assholes and a rookie. 'Let the rookie win.' Had I rolled 4 less sixes I am sure that I would have been out far sooner. I consider myself, as I pointed out to Devin verbally, officially arrested by the karma police. As I sit here awaiting sentencing I can find no defence. I am guilty, though there are many men standing guilty before me...perhaps a night in the box, yeah, that's it, a box. I host many games! I will allow box rolling from here on in. People are even free to bring their own box. It will have to be a 'host' approved box. So please put a lot of effort into making your boxes. I think we will count dice that end up on the floor as well. Unlimited advance (how retarded). Sounds good to me. Why not the new defensive 'regrouping' rule: you are allowed to redistribute your troops after each person's placement, which seems frustrating for the 'attacker' at first but with the unlimited advance rule just makes for unnecessary movement of armies resulting in wasted time and effort on all accounts. Two rounds? Two fucking rounds! Six sixes, ten kills. Twenty-eight dead. Devin tells me he has rolled this poorly in the past, though I am sure there are no stats to back his statement up. Strategy only works when you have the rolls to back it up. I had no rolls therefore a fleeting strategy at best and in the end: nothing! Who the fuck buys a pen with orange ink.”